Member Update:
Access Denied: Because John and Ted Say So

A personal note from:

Dear Member,

John Malone, Ted Turner, Barry Diller, Mike Ovitz, Sylvester Stallone, and Cher have recently scanned your hard drive and e-mail and have unanimously decided that, for the good of mankind and the family, you should be denied access to the contents of this file.

Though this is just a warning, any further attempt to read the material contained in this file, will result in immediate cancellation of your Mike Rosoff Network Membership Agreement, disconnection from the Mike Rosoff Network Backbone, and possibly prosecution or persecution or prostitution.

If you would like to be re-considered for eventual access to this file again, please write several hundred pages of heartfelt retractions of all the filthy things you've said and written about Messrs. Malone, Turner, Diller, Ovitz, and Stallone, and Mme. Bono-Allman, and their respective enterprises. Mail copies of this book to all Media outlets and to Turner-Warner Malone headquarters, Anytown, USA.

And remember, letting Turner Warner Malone et al. personally scan your hard drive and e-mail is just one more way the Mike Rosoff Network constantly strives to enlarge its members and their horizons.


Mike R.