Member Update:
Inadequate Hardware detected

A personal note from:

Dear Member,

According to our online diagnostics, your current hardware/software configuration is inadequate to properly display the brutal religious pornography you've requested.

In order to adequately handle the density of information contained in these data files, you will need to add the following upgrades to your system:

  1. 10GB or more of RAM
  2. read-write 12X CD ROM drive w/30-CD carousel
  3. standard VR head-mounted display with nasal implants
  4. S-100 to EISA bus adapter
  5. Mike Rosoff 95 Doors (all locked) for Workgroups 3.11xl
  6. Mike Rosoff Network Navigator
  7. Mike Rosoff Office Politics
  8. Mike Rosoff Word for 95 Doors 3.x2
  9. Amiga 2000 sawed-off Motherboard
  10. Mike Rosoff RAM It-In (Software Memory Quadrupler)
  11. Mike Rosoff Astral Accelerator

Thank you for being a part of the Mike Rosoff Network where our members are Job 1.

Yours,

Mike