Daily New Times York -- 2/07/97

Friday, February 7, 1997

Prime Time TV Grid/Federal Budget

2/7/97 8:00 pm 8:30 pm 9:00 pm 9:30 pm 10:00 pm 10:30 pm

THE GERALDO CHANNEL Ron Goldman's Biological Mother Ron Goldman's Sociological Mother Ron Goldman's Cultural Anthropological Mother Ron Goldman's Neuro-Pharmacological Sister

THE FAYE RESNICK CHANNEL 24-Hour Special: Collagen Fever!!!

THE WIRED VENTURES CHANNEL Corpus Collosum Candy Neurologic Nut-Scratching Beached Brain Blanket Bingo

CINEMAX/ PBS Movie: "Much Nothing About A Dude" (Keanu Reeves, the Beach Boys) Movie: "La Jeté Without Bread," (Shannon Tweed, Don "the Dragon" Wilson, Sharon Whirry)

CNBC Drama:
Commerce Hospital Drama:
The Bank of Mercy Religion/Talk:
Business Model of the Soul

CSPAN Movie: "I Lost It On the CSPAN Schoolbus" (Madonna, the Beach Boys) Sizing Up Various House Organs

THE HMO CHANNEL Movie: "Biopsy This!" (Elizabeth Taylor, Alan Alda) Movie: "Liposuct This!" (Elizabeth Taylor, the Beach Boys)

THE FEDERAL BUDGET OF THE UNITED STATES OR WHATEVER ------------------------------------------------------------------ Table 3.1--OUTLAYS BY SUPERFUNCTION AND FUNCTION: ------------------------------------------------------------------ Superfunction and Function 1995 1996 1997 estimate estimate estimate ------------------------------------------------------------------ In millions of dollars ------------------------------------------------------------------- Doritos.................... 272,066 265,556 258,723 Dip ....................... 923,769 969,942 1,022,949 Medical services.......... 54,263 54,131 53,510 Spin Doctors ............ 115,418 121,211 134,572 Script Doctors........... 159,855 177,586 190,107 Forensic Proctologists... 220,449 228,342 236,721 Bovine Scatography....... 335,846 350,924 368,102 (On-budget)............. (5,476) (5,763) (7,035) (Off-budget)............ (330,370) (345,161) (361,067) Miscellaneous Psycho-pharmacological Services................ 62,591 66,670 80,321 Laundry................... 4,936 3,217 2,242 Peanut Butter............. 22,105 21,550 21,560 Speed..................... -14,441 -10,744 5,602 (On-budget)............. (-12,472) (-10,433) (2,970) (Off-budget)............ (-1,969) (-311) (2,632) Angel Dust............... 39,350 39,769 39,080 paper clips.............. 10,641 12,878 11,837 ----------------------------------------------------------------- Which shows that, while most people think the bulk of the budget goes for chips, the reality is that almost 4 times as much (in fiscal 1997) goes for dip.

NASA/ PHYSICIANS DESK REFERENCE Mars on Methamphetamine The Crab Nebula on Canabis The Sun on Psilocybin

FOX The Sleaze Bucket Hour The Slimeball Hour The Scuzz Show

HBO Movie: "Slimeball" (Bruce Willis, Demi Moore) Movie: "Slutbucket" (Demi Moore, Bruce Willis)

INTL Nzgzygi Isgzgy This! Nazgibignyeu Bucket! Chachgicakya Oligelobolus

MSNBC my ($presetwd,$subjatom,$j,$i,$cat,@vp); @vp= @_; $presetwd=0; $subjatom = 0; # FLAGS $j=@vp; for ($i=0; $i < $j; $i++) { $cat= shift @vp; if ($cat eq 'INTERACT') { &EXPANDVP (&VPGEN(0,0,0,'Interpers')); next; } if ($cat eq 'CHANGE') { &EXPANDVP (&VPGEN(0,0,0,'Change')); next; }

PBS/DISNEY The Charlie Rose Goofy Fame Queen Hour The Frugal Gourmet/Michael Jackson Show

WARNER/ CNBC Bay Buchanan Watch French Priss of Bel Air Fresh Belt of Piss Air

MARTHA STEWART CHANNEL Designing With Smegma Cooking With Walter Cronkite's Spit

UNI-
VISION Cine: "Sangre Mujere de Muerte y Drogas" (Fernando Alamada, Mario Alamada, Jose Alamada) Cine: "Narcotraficante de Mujeres" (Jorge Reynoso, David Reynoso, Jose Reynoso)

[ YESTERDAY \| ARCHIVES \| C3F ]
Copyright (c) 1997 by C3F

2/7/97	8:00 pm	8:30 pm	9:00 pm	9:30 pm	10:00 pm	10:30 pm
THE GERALDO CHANNEL	Ron Goldman's Biological Mother	Ron Goldman's Sociological Mother	Ron Goldman's Cultural Anthropological Mother		Ron Goldman's Neuro-Pharmacological Sister
THE FAYE RESNICK CHANNEL	24-Hour Special: Collagen Fever!!!
THE WIRED VENTURES CHANNEL	Corpus Collosum Candy		Neurologic Nut-Scratching		Beached Brain Blanket Bingo
CINEMAX/ PBS	Movie: "Much Nothing About A Dude" (Keanu Reeves, the Beach Boys)			Movie: "La Jeté Without Bread," (Shannon Tweed, Don "the Dragon" Wilson, Sharon Whirry)
CNBC	Drama: Commerce Hospital		Drama: The Bank of Mercy		Religion/Talk: Business Model of the Soul
CSPAN	Movie: "I Lost It On the CSPAN Schoolbus" (Madonna, the Beach Boys)				Sizing Up Various House Organs
THE HMO CHANNEL	Movie: "Biopsy This!" (Elizabeth Taylor, Alan Alda)			Movie: "Liposuct This!" (Elizabeth Taylor, the Beach Boys)
THE FEDERAL BUDGET OF THE UNITED STATES OR WHATEVER ------------------------------------------------------------------ Table 3.1--OUTLAYS BY SUPERFUNCTION AND FUNCTION: ------------------------------------------------------------------ Superfunction and Function 1995 1996 1997 estimate estimate estimate ------------------------------------------------------------------ In millions of dollars ------------------------------------------------------------------- Doritos.................... 272,066 265,556 258,723 Dip ....................... 923,769 969,942 1,022,949 Medical services.......... 54,263 54,131 53,510 Spin Doctors ............ 115,418 121,211 134,572 Script Doctors........... 159,855 177,586 190,107 Forensic Proctologists... 220,449 228,342 236,721 Bovine Scatography....... 335,846 350,924 368,102 (On-budget)............. (5,476) (5,763) (7,035) (Off-budget)............ (330,370) (345,161) (361,067) Miscellaneous Psycho-pharmacological Services................ 62,591 66,670 80,321 Laundry................... 4,936 3,217 2,242 Peanut Butter............. 22,105 21,550 21,560 Speed..................... -14,441 -10,744 5,602 (On-budget)............. (-12,472) (-10,433) (2,970) (Off-budget)............ (-1,969) (-311) (2,632) Angel Dust............... 39,350 39,769 39,080 paper clips.............. 10,641 12,878 11,837 ----------------------------------------------------------------- Which shows that, while most people think the bulk of the budget goes for chips, the reality is that almost 4 times as much (in fiscal 1997) goes for dip.
NASA/ PHYSICIANS DESK REFERENCE	Mars on Methamphetamine		The Crab Nebula on Canabis		The Sun on Psilocybin
FOX	The Sleaze Bucket Hour	The Slimeball Hour		The Scuzz Show
HBO	Movie: "Slimeball" (Bruce Willis, Demi Moore)			Movie: "Slutbucket" (Demi Moore, Bruce Willis)
INTL	Nzgzygi Isgzgy This!		Nazgibignyeu Bucket!		Chachgicakya Oligelobolus
MSNBC	my ($presetwd,$subjatom,$j,$i,$cat,@vp); @vp= @_; $presetwd=0; $subjatom = 0; # FLAGS $j=@vp; for ($i=0; $i < $j; $i++) { $cat= shift @vp; if ($cat eq 'INTERACT') { &EXPANDVP (&VPGEN(0,0,0,'Interpers')); next; } if ($cat eq 'CHANGE') { &EXPANDVP (&VPGEN(0,0,0,'Change')); next; }
PBS/DISNEY	The Charlie Rose Goofy Fame Queen Hour			The Frugal Gourmet/Michael Jackson Show
WARNER/ CNBC	Bay Buchanan Watch		French Priss of Bel Air		Fresh Belt of Piss Air
MARTHA STEWART CHANNEL	Designing With Smegma				Cooking With Walter Cronkite's Spit
UNI- VISION	Cine: "Sangre Mujere de Muerte y Drogas" (Fernando Alamada, Mario Alamada, Jose Alamada)			Cine: "Narcotraficante de Mujeres" (Jorge Reynoso, David Reynoso, Jose Reynoso)