Monday, February 16, 1998
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Bankrupt Ostrich Farmer Earns $300,000!!

Sydney, AUSTR - (Feb 16) - According to an email just received from sources at Newsweek and the Drudge Report, a bankrupt ostrich farmer has just earned $300,000 in the first year!!

The exclusive sources claim that the farmer, B&, was once the fifth largest ostrich farmer in the US, with a business valued at well over 3.5 million dollars, before the ostrich market collapsed, leaving him bankrupt.

"Apparently," Newsweek or Drudge stated, "He struggled for 2 years before he found an exciting new business, and now, his toughest decision is does he move to Hawaii or to the Florida keys?"

The sources claim that he was so broke that he had to sell his big screen TV to get into this business. But then, after three days, he made enough money to buy it back.

"He earned over $20,000 the first month," the sources told Newsweek. "After 4 months, he'd earned over $100,000. Not bad for an out of work ostrich farmer. Eh?"

Newsweek's source claimed she obtained this information from a source who had access to Monica Lewinsky's email.

According to the email, the bankrupt ostrich farmer told the FBI about secret offshore vehicles that the wealthy use. These vehicles generate 10 to 50 times more yield than a CD or other average vehicle.

"He told us, 'You don't do any personal selling. Everyone wants and needs our products. No high pressure! No brow beating! Don't take my word for it. Prove it to yourself! Take a look at this and you will understand why 20,000 + people have taken advantage of what we have to offer. You just let our turn key system do the selling for you.'" an unnamed FBI source told us.

According to Newsweek, the email also refers to 2 neckties Lewinsky gave the big creep.

"The big creep referred to in the emails," the Newsweek source claimed, "Is really 'The Big Bopper,' who, according to Microsoft Encarta, was killed in a plane crash with Richie Valens and Buddy Holly, and then was shot in the head by Ron Brown, just to make sure."

According to the Lewinsky emails, either Tripp or the ostrich farmer had told her "You can earn a 6-figure income working from your home," but when Lewinsky complained that the big creep hadn't called her on V-Day to ask her to run away with him, Tripp had told her, "Look. We sell education. This is the kind of information that 99% of the world's population doesn't even know exists, including most Attorneys, CPA's, Tax Experts, Tax Consultants, Financial Consultants, Investment Strategists and the like."

According to an email from Newsweek to Matt Drudge, disclosed early this morning by Linda Tripp's attorney, Monica Lewinsky's father, "Everybody has heard that the wealthy pay little or no taxes. But how? Our educational products are simple to understand. People just like you and me can utilize the same wealth building strategies previously enjoyed only by the wealthy."

Apparently, there is a $1,250 minimum start up.

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