Wednesday, February 17, 1999
Clinton Re-Impeached For Getting Caught Video-Taping Self Smoking Crack And Having Sex With Illegitimate 12-Year Old Haitian Daughter!!!

Wash, DC - (Feb 17) - President Clinton, today, became the first president in US history ever to be re-impeached only 3 months after having already been impeached once and only 2 weeks after having just been acquitted of all previous impeachment charges.

The unanimous impeachment vote by the House of Representatives early this morning, came immediately following their collective viewing of a video tape which apparently Clinton himself had accidentally left lying around FBI Director Louie Freeh's office just yesterday and had also accidentally fed-exed a copy of to Jerry Falwell and Ken Starr.

The tape, which Clinton apparently shot and edited himself, and on which he also plays sax, shows Clinton smoking crack with a 12-year-old Haitian girl, and then performing various sex acts with her.

According to a spokesman for the House, about halfway through the tape, the camera suddenly tilts down, apparently from a loose bolt on its tripod or something, and stops in a position where it just happens to be focussed on a piece of paper accidentally lying on the floor which is apparently the girl's DNA analysis, which she'd apparently just had done -- for kicks, or something -- and had apparently just accidentally left lying around right next to Clinton's own DNA analysis, left over from his last impeachment trial -- and, apparently, it's clear from the fortuitous side by side placement of the 2 analyses, that they match near-exactly enough for the girl to be Clinton's daughter, if not his clone.

At a press conference, this morning, held half-asleep in his bedroom where reporters had burst in unannounced immediately following the vote, Clinton denied the tape, the girl and the act, and claimed it was all obviously done with digital effects, and that he now had to get back to work for the American people, and promptly went back to sleep, with a big fat smirk on his face.

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Copyright (c) 1999 by HC