Fight Stupid Consumerism!! Buy my fucking book!! The Washington 
Friday, Feb 23, 2001
  Bush Keeps Campaign Promise!! Leaves No Child Left Behind
(Reuters, Feb 23) - President Junior today kept his campaign promise of leaving no child behind by going out and finding a child that had been left behind and making sure that it was no longer left behind anymore.

When he was finished not leaving the child behind, Bush declared the child officially no longer left behind and told the Washington A-List guests at his first Presidential Press Conference held at the home of the Washington Post's Kathryn Graham, that if any of them found any more children that had been left behind, the child who had been left behind should immediately be Fed Ex'd someplace where it wouldn't be left behind anymore.

"It is important," said Bush, "that in this time of monetary and fiscal policy, that we leave no child left behind, because a child is a terrible thing to waste or leave behind and if we leave any child left behind, that'll just be one more child left behind, and we should all pledge to leave no child left behind because no child should be left behind."

According to former Vice-President Dan Quayle, who was also in attendance and applauded President Bush's setting the standard for how not to leave any child behind, "A child is a terrible thing to waste, or lose your mind," the former Veep told a press conference in his pants, or dreams.

Many of the A-List guests stated that they, like Quayle, appreciated the President putting his money or pants where him mouth was, and walking the walk rather than just talking the talk, but some stated that, while they too were founding members of the Washington chapter of the "Leave No Child Left Behind" movement, they preferred to not flaunt their leaving no child behind publicly, but preferred to see that no child was left behind in the privacy of their own homes.

Bush, along with Graham and many others present, recounted how their firm commitment to seeing that no child was left behind had come directly from their own lives, where, apparently, someone had always made sure that THEY were never left behind.


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