Danbury, CT - (March 21) - Disney-Murdoch-Turnersoft has announced its lineup of content packages for Fall 1997. According to a Disney-Murdoch-Turnersoft press release,

...these packages will be available across all distribution media and in all content forms, though production teams, timetables, and salaries have not yet been determined...

The packages include:

The Meditation Squad

An elite squad of New York cops is specially trained to derive excessive pleasure from bursting in on, and scaring the living crap out of illegal meditation groups, silently meditating in private homes all over the city.

Disaster Sunday

The premise is to create a real world disaster, like a flood, earthquake or bridge collapse, and then be on hand to film it obsessively, from all angles. Essentially a modern-day snuff film done on a large scale and financed by large corporations, governments, and/or non-governmental organizations. Properly marketed, this show could end all war -- or at least introduce a cool new euphemism for it.

Disaster Late Night

The not-ready-for-primetime version of Disaster Sunday. Sloppily-engineered, real-world human tragedies that go awry either in execution or in the recording. Performed by individuals or small indie groups, where the final product is more like a brain-surgery bloopers tape, or a Plan 9 from Outer Space, kinda thing.

When the Soul Takes a Shit, It Comes Out Money

High-powered, real-life CEO's talk out their innermost feelings while fully-wired to polygraph displays running, split-screen, beneath them. Potentially a business show, Broadway musical, soundtrack album from the film of the Broadway musical, or edgy lifestyle zine.

Sling Parts

Sling Blade meets Private Parts. 'nuff said.

Booty Blade

Booty Call meets Sling Blade. 'nuff said.

Jedi 2 Jedi

Booty Call meets Private Parts after Private Parts has met Sling Blade.

CNN Headlight News

The big CNN bulldozer-camera-truck bursts into people's homes while they sleep, wakes them with its noise and, as they sit there stunned in the glare of its huge headlights, micro-records their every tiny twitch, every change in EEG or galvanic skin response. Then CNN runs it in a tape loop all day long, behind its shady newscasters.

Form vs. Torment

The favorite donuts, gatorade flavors, and M&M colors of the Nobel and Pulitzer prize-winning developer of the Unified Field Theory Of Unified Field Theories.

The English Patient Strikes Back

A series of murders where people are found beaten to death by crutches and plaster casts, their mouths taped shut by surgical bandages. Shine on angel dust meets Star Wars on Nyquil.

Sibs

Larry, Stephen and Don King meet Lou, Robert and Donna Reed.

The End is Over

A Buddhist monk from a wealthy family drives around the southwest in a Corvette. A show that keeps on ending, but is never actually over. Sort of a unified field theory of unified field theories meets Booty Call on Advil.