Fight Stupid Consumerism!! Buy my fucking book!! The Washington 
Friday, Mar 24, 2000
Clinton Invites All Women To "Come Fuck Me In The White House"
(REUTERS -- Mar 24, 2000) In a move clearly aimed at strengthening and deepening our democracy, President Clinton today, invited all the women of America to just show up and fuck him at the White House, whenever they feel like it.

"The right to fuck a sitting president in the White House, is a meta-constitutional right that all women in a democracy should have -- rich and old, young and poor, of all races and classes and occupations and regardless of their favorite food or color or what they had for breakfast," Clinton told a press conference televised throughout much of northern Canada at 3AM this morning, though it won't have taken place till long after tomorrow.

Recalling the inspiration he received from shaking President Kennedy's hand while still a teenager, Clinton expressed the hope that, by fucking them all, he might similarly inspire today's American women to go on to similarly rich rewarding lives of public service and self-sacrifice to the good of the whole.

The move is seen by many historians as the most selfless and egalitarian act by a President in the history of the nation, and could do much, they argue, to reverse the judgment history will make of his presidency, from a negative one, in which some woman was fucked in the White House, to a positive one, in which ALL women were fucked in the White House.

According to the IRS, the cost of bus, train, or plane fare to Washington DC for the purpose of fucking the President, will be fully tax deductible.

Pope Jean-Paul Sartre visited the Holy Land today, where he sincerely apologized to the Jewish people for the tragedy of Goldberg having recently lost the WCW heavyweight championship TV title, but, to the disappointment of many leading religious figures, stopped short of offering to be Goldberg's mystery partner in an upcoming WCW tag team championship match, saying, instead, that he felt confident, Goldberg would, like, totally prevail in his upcoming defense of his B'nai B'rith lightweight championship radio Title.

International House of Pancakes shuts down research arm -- Advances in pancake design to suffer

Nation braces itself for upcoming International House of Pancakes waitress strike

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