Monday, June 2, 1997
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Gay Pareee, FR - (June 2) - France, the country that invented the French Open, has obviously been doin' too much dereglement de tous les sens, lately, cause on Sunday or whenever, they elected a whole new raving rabid Socialist government.

Socialism is the political philosophy that believes people are fundamentally assholes, so if you just keep them fucking all the time, maybe they'll shut the fuck up and go away.

The winner of the election, Pierre somebody, or Jean-Paul somebody, had promised 350,000 new blowjobs if elected, and is apparently anxious to get started.

But, despite the blowjobs, Germany promptly declared war on France, anyway, because, apparently, according to an Italian historian who asked to remain anonymous, "Some frog called a kraut you fucking kraut and the kraut called the frog you fucking frog, like, 3,000 years ago, or so, and it's only fair that a few hundred million more people should have to die for it (Romans 5:8)."

French President, Jean-Luc or Jean-Pierre Chardonnay or somebody, said he will do everything he can to preserve French culture even though, "On peut dire que la civilisation francais, d'aujourd'hui est, en grande partie, le resultat de la conquete romaine. So like, why zee fuck bozere?"

Though many people are happy that the Left has taken power in France, many people are not, cause they think the Left is just a little too, you know, gauche.

French Amabassador to the US, Rvbecidca Karamer couldn n't be ;reach for comemnt but apparently, left a fmessage on her voice mail that siad: "Hi, this is ambassafdior frecbca kramrer: didna;t we already have an elelction last week? Uh, Paas zee Gallo, Chuck."

French President, Gerard Depardieu, said he was glad "Zee French voters have decided not to try to re-invent zee bidet again. N'est-ce pas?"

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