Friday, June 25, 1999
  Bitter racial epithets fly at PC Expo

by HC

NY, NY -- (June 25) --
Ironically, ....

"Other" PC Expo either begins or ends today, or is half over

Many exciting new devices and computers were displayed at this year's PC Expo, which either begins or ends today, or is half over, give or take.

The Expo, which is going on in probably New York or someplace is apparently a so-called "Expo" of so-called "PCs" as opposed to the "other" PC Expo which is simply an Expo of so-called "PC."

Anyway, in addition to all the many exciting new devices and computers which were all shaped like sex toys but didn't put out, there were many lively panel discussions and forums.

These lively panel discussions and forums featured many industry heavyweights like Hollis Mosher III, president of Microsoft, Garth Register Jr., chairman of Microsoft, Rebecca Kramer, CEO of Microsoft, Rebecca Sunnybrook, Vice-president of Microsoft, and Beverly Firestone, acting vice-president in charge of titles at Microsoft.

In order to try to assuage the fears of the poor slobbering masses out there, shivering in despair, impatiently waiting for the next tepid fix in the junk-free night, the industry heavyweights used these panel discussions and forums to lay out their so-called "vision" of the so-called "future" as follows:

"First," said industry heavyweight, What's His Name, "in the future, everyone will have 15 minutes when he will suddenly, unexpectedly cease to be an utter fucking asshole. Unfortunately, for everyone in this room and everyone in this solar system, your 15 minutes are already UP."

Rebecca What's Her Name, of Sunnybrook Farms Microsystems, told the slobbering masses that one day soon, in the future, someone would discover that lab rats were actually running

Lab rats actually running experiments on humans, humans discover

The idea that human experimenters at MIT were running experiments on lab rats in their labs, appears to have been just a cruel delusion fostered by the rats themselves, according to an article appearing in this month's issue of The Journal of How What Starts Out As Just Getting Laid, Ends Up As Just Getting Laden Down.

According to Rebecca Kramer, the article's author and former president of MIT and Microsoft, when rats first invented the internet, 100 years ago, they feared its use might lead to cancer or other diseases.

"As a consequence of this fear," Kramer states, "the rats decided not to implement the internet right away, but to test it out on humans first, instead."

According to Kramer, the rats cleverly disguised themselves as so-called "lab rats" and then mind-controlled so-called "humans" into so-called "needing" them.

"Using this technique," says Kramer, "the rats were able to successfully Trojan horse themselves into key laboratories all over the world, where they mind-controlled their so-called experimenter's souls into aching for the so-called 'killer app.'"

But then, one day, after they had strung them along for years, the rats pulled the so-called "string" and let it slip that, whoops, their cherished fucking killer app had, whoops,

Killer App Kills Killer Self

Expectations were running high at this year's PC Expo which is just beginning or just ending or is half over, and is possibly being held in New York, but if it's not, who gives a flying fuck?

And, as is the case every year, everybody was sure that this was finally gonna be the year when the long sought after killer app finally made its appearance.

But instead, of course, the vast Expo hall of nothing but noise, was befallen by a sudden total hush on the announcement that the killer app, the precious, beloved, holy, saintly killer app, had been found dead in its hotel room, apparently a victim of having believed its own hype to the point where it was just so killer an app, that it apparently either accidentally or intentionally or neither, killed its own killer self.

The name and nature of the so-called killer app are being withheld, pending notification of the concept of notification itself.


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Copyright (c) 1999 by HC