The Nobel Peace Equivalency Prize will be awarded to someone who really really wants to bring about total and absolute world peace for all time, but just hasn't, you know, had the time to actually, you know, think about setting aside some time to actually, you know, sit down and think about getting around to actually thinking about actually doing, you know, something about it sometime.
The Nobel Equivalency Prize in Physics will be awarded to the person who definitely has it all figured out and could probably come up with a perfectly simple Unified Field Theory that even Dan Quayle could understand, but just doesn't really have the time right now to sit down and actually work out the precise equations, on account of MTV is doing a "Real World" marathon all this week.
The Nobel Equivalency Prize for Literature will be awarded to the person who obviously probably could write the most literarily killer blockbuster novel of all time, but just hasn't quite, you know, gotten around to doing it yet 'cause she's still waiting for a close friend to move to a smaller apartment so she can get his old dining room table to write it on.
Congress approves sweeping tax cuts!!
American Dream only exists "in your dreams," study finds
So, like, why bother waking up?
Commercial feasibility no longer commercially feasible
Not content with dominance of the human palm by its PalmPilot(TM)
handheld personal digital computing device thingy, 3Com corporation of El
Cerrito, California is attempting to extend its computational hegemony to other
human body parts. Though still under wraps, reliable sources indicate, the
soon-to-be-released TonguePilot(TM) will look and operate much like the unit
depicted above. Also in the works, a docking station to allow TonguePilots to
interact seamlessly with the heavily-rumored but still adamantly denied
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Copyright (c) 1999 by HC