Monday, July 19, 1999
  TV Review
The Beverly
BH, CA -- (July 19) -- This new hit series on CBS starts out with a song that goes:

Come and listen to my story of a man name Jeff. A poor mountain man living, like it or not, in a social order kept alive and prosperous, purely as a by-product of everybody's most fundamental desire being to just fucking kill EVERYBODY else -- sight unseen, no questions asked, love it or leave it.

But then one day, he was shootin' at some food when, aside from learning how no gunpowder don't help no taste of no Twinkee no how, capitalism suddenly enters its final stage where it's forced to become a kind of altruism simply because there's no longer any profit left in anything anymore, except for what's left in trying to delude people into feeling like not hanging it all up for good for, c'mon, just one more fucking day, man.

Now the next thing you know, ole Jeff's one of the vast army of the last adventuresome people on earth who drive relentlessly back and forth cross-country in complex real-time computer-designed just-in-time patterns for, delivering items ordered online from city A in Massachusetts to city B in New York, from city B to City C in Pennsylvania, from City C to city D in Illinois, and so on till they get to City Z in California where they pick up something to deliver to City Y in Nevada where they pick up something to deliver to City X in Colorado and so on, till they're back at City A where they start all over again -- like a snowflake or a fingerprint, never delivering the same item twice.

The kin folk said, Jeff, reality is, apparently, now operating faster than any absurdist, off-the-wall joke about it. They said, you can say the most totally fabricated utterly stupid fucking thing you want, but when you look up you'll see that reality has already gone it one stupider.

So he got loaded in the truck ... etc.


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