Wednesday, Aug 19, 1998
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Air Force One Lands In Cuba!!! Others Follow

Havana, CU - (Aug 19) - Late last night, for the first time in more than half a century, Air Force One, the official airplane of the President of the United States, landed at Havana International Airport, Havana, Cuba.

The plane, carrying the US President who had hijacked it at gunpoint, and his family, was greeted by Cuban President Fidel Castro, and hundreds of Cuba's leading dignitaries, celebrities, and sports stars, as well as hundreds of thousands of wildly cheering Cuban people, even though it was 3:00 AM, Havana time.

Clinton and Castro hugged each other warmly for several seconds as the two met face to face, and then, together, they addressed the wildly enthusiastic crowd far into the morning, as planes from all over the world continued to land on the runways directly behind them.

"He was TOO BIG for the United States," proclaimed Castro, at one point, referring to Clinton. "TOO BIG for their petty, small-minded, moralistic, fascistic, little brains. -- So now they've lost him, and NOW he belongs to Cuba -- and THE WORLD!!"

Clinton was humble in his response to Castro's limitless praise and the wild enthusiasms of the crowd, "My fellow Cubans," he began, "I have come here today, in the middle of this sultry night, to work with President Castro, to help build a new, proud, strong Cuba for the 21st Century. A free, independent Cuba that can lead the world in a new era of peace and justice, and in a way of life so revolutionary, so unfathomable -- it doesn't even have a name."

Clinton, speaking without notes, promised a Golden Age for Cuba, and for the rest of the world, in partnership with a strong, revitalized Cuba.

"But we can only achieve this Golden Age," Clinton told the crowd, "when the Great Satan's Evil Empire to the North is utterly obliterated once and for all from the face of this earth.

"Only then can we have universal peace and love and happiness and bliss," he said, shaking a fistful of high-speed cable modems at them.

After being sworn in as Cuba's new Minister of Defense, Hillary Clinton promised the people that Cuban forces would re-take Miami in just a matter of months, and "all of Florida, in less than a year."

Following the speeches, broadcast live around the world by CNN (which had opened its Havana bureau just months ago, in preparation for this event), hundreds of billions of dollars apparently began flowing into banks all over the tiny island nation, as world capitalists everywhere started betting all they had on the new Clintonian-Communist ideology, which had somehow just been proclaimed, and which no one really knew what it was or how it would work, except that Clinton would run it and, therefore, everything about it would be the absolute biggest and best in the history of the world.

And, early this morning, IBM, AT&T, Yahoo! and General Motors all announced plans to immediately construct massive new ultra high-tech headquarters on the outskirts of Havana, in a massive new ultra high-tech industrial park named after the American president-in-exile.

"The new GM headquarters and the new factories in the suburbs of Havana," said a General Motors spokesman, "will be totally worker-designed, and worker-controlled from construction to actual functioning, and will also have their own super-computer-based nuclear defense systems capable of hitting targets anywhere in the world with multiple independently-targetable re-entry vehicle warheads."

According to CNN, shortly after Clinton and that plane, Air Force One, had touched down at Havana International, large US military transports carrying top scientists and laboratory equipment from Stanford, MIT and other leading US universities, began landing at the Cuban airport, along with planes carrying leading investment bankers, entrepreneurs, venture capitalists, and web page designers from New York, and from the capitalist stronghold, silicon valley.

Still other huge military transports stuffed with vast quantities of ultra high-tech consumer goods, with no end in sight, landed periodically, passed out their cargo free to the locals, then quickly took off again and flew back to Crazy Eddie's or Dow Sound City for another load.

Planes stuffed with trillions of dollars in currency and gold also landed every few minutes -- sent by foreign governments and leaders from all over the globe, certain they could double their entire national treasury overnight by investing it all directly in the world's #1 leading scorer of all time and his new, rapidly developing, most powerful nation in the history of the world.

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