It's 3AM and there's too much noise The Washington Pissed
Wednesday, Aug 25, 1999

21 So-Called "Ideas" For The So-Called "21st Century"
In case there's ever actually a so-called "21st century," you probably better have 21 so-called "ideas" for it. So here are 21 so-called "ideas" for the so-called "21st century":

1. Compression

    Things will get, like, all compressed an' shit.

2. Depression

    Things will get, like, all depressed an' shit.

3. Nanotechnology

    Things will get, like, all nanotechnologic an' shit.

4. Top 10 Party Schools

        1. MIT
        2. 90 schools tied for number 2

5.     170 "ideas" tied for number 5

Oliver Stone Agrees To Stop Making Shitty, Ham-Fisted Oliver Stone Films
Hollywood film director Oliver Stone agreed Tuesday to stop making shitty ham-fisted simplistic moronic Oliver Stone type films as part of a plea bargain with prosecutors over his arrest in June on drug and alcohol charges.

Clinton Admits Never Ever Ever Using Coke
Some guy named Clinton who was apparently President of the United States before Republican President George W. Bush was, admitted today that he never ever ever snorted coke in his life. He was promptly killed on the spot for being just toooooooooo unhip to even claim to have ever been President. His name will be expunged from History, if, in fact, it can even be found there at all.

Bush Hasn't Done Glue In 30 Years, Hasn't Done PCP In 26
President Bush today, marked the end of his 3rd year in office by declaring that he hadn't done glue in 30 years and hadn't done PCP in 26 years. He stated that his agenda for the next year included gradually announcing how he, like, hadn't done psilocybin in 33 years.

Bush Claims He Can Pass So-Called "Turing Test"
Bush claimed today that he can past the so-called "Turing test." The so-called "Turing test," a test which used to be used to test how much more intelligent a machine was than a human, has been upgraded to test whether a President has manufactured crystal meth in the oval office with his pants off in the past 3 years or not.

Some picture of something that somehow seems to go with the text  below, though sometimes the connection is so counter-cosmic that only Barry  Diller gets it
By the 2030s, technology may have accidentally cancelled itself out by wrapping around the other side of possibility, according to a study just completed by the Your Institute Name Here Foundation.

LA bans in utero gun sales

Fed hikes rate

Broadband officially over


Dreaming apparently just instantiating archetypal situations with the neurochemical mean of compressed accumulated personal data

Non-stop 8.0 world earthquake begins today

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 my fragile ego by buying my fucking book.  Thank you.

Copyright (c) 1999 by HC