Friday, October 3, 1997
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Flight Is Still Over

Kitty Porn, SD - (Oct 3) - Though flight itself has been over for over a month now, various planes continue to try to do it -- all with unfortunate but predictable results -- indicating that flight continues to be OVER. Get it??!

That was the conclusion reached by Dr. Rebecca Kramer, Chairman of the Aeronautical Engineering Department at Good Cop/Bad Cop University, in a speech delivered, early this morning, from the balcony of her office at the Oswego, New York campus of the mythical eastern technical training school.

Dr. Kramer, former Dean of the School of Mafioso Management-Style Studies at GC/BCU, told a crowd of reporters and the press that, "Human nature is now floating in space on a thin string made out of the cognitive technologies. This could allow us to finally escape the utter fucking stupidity of evolution and maybe even the utter fucking disingenuousness and self-righteousness of the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics.

"However, if the string breaks, there is no avoiding the collision between an archaic, now foreign nature, and its now former human. And I see the current failure of all flight as just the first symptom that this collision has begun."

During the Q & A that followed, a spectator asked Dr. Kramer if she didn't think the string had already been broken many times throughout history.

"Yes," she answered, licking a stray fleck of crystal meth off the tip of her nose, "And the brave new species which has arisen each time to absorb the shock of this collision is, of course, the asshole. That is why there must ALWAYS be assholes. Their species has performed a valuable transitionary service for mankind and, as such, they deserve our thanks.

"However, it is not necessarily the case that they must always rule the world, and the fact that they do so now, and have throughout all the history we know, is simply coincidence or statistics or whatever, and not a part of natural law."

But the crowd had already fallen into a, "Sorry but our robot has accidentally reformatted your cookie" kinda mood, and, realizing how there really wouldn't be any more fucking flying, they'd ceased to give a flying fuck.

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