MCI WorldCom Gets Rid of 3 Letters and a Space for $129B
Following a path pre-ordained by forces beyond man, MCI
WorldCom confirmed early today that it had just paid the
Supreme Court $129 Billion dollars worth of angel dust
to pass a law making it legal for any company to drop
the first 3 letters and a space off its name.
"We are very excited," said the former MCI WorldCom's
current CEO, Joe WorldCom, "about getting those damn
fucking first three fucking letters off our name and
also getting that damn fucking space outta there. I
mean, a space -- what's that about?"
The deal marks the most letters a company has ever
dropped off its name, ever, and will create an 8-letter
name which is much better positioned to possibly, one
day, be as short as AT&T's 4-letter word name.
"Next year," said WorldCom, "when everything fails, the
Supreme Court has promised they'll only charge us
another $150 Billion dollars to drop 4 more letters off
Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, Diana Ross, also
confirmed that for an additional $500 Billion dollars,
the Supreme Court would pass a law making ampersands
count as 2 letters -- thus making AT&T's name really a
5-letter name and the all new 4-letter named WorldCom
the only 4-letter word in town.
"I look forward to the day," WorldCom told whomsoever,
"when we will have either tied or beaten AT&T at having
the world's smallest name, while simultaneously being
the world's biggest piece of shit."