HANDBOOK OF JIHAD
For Jihadsters of all ages, everywhere


Attention Zionist Puppets of the Islams. The Time has come to rage Jihad against the Christianities, the puppets of Bush, Satan, and Steven Malkmus.

Attention all sleepers for Christ and Ozzy. Awake and make Jihad. But first, learn to understand the 10 video hand signals which the Zionist puppet bin Laden will broadcast to you daily on Al Jazeera, CNN, and the Sally Jesse Raphael Show. These 10 hand signals will instruct you in the Cool Jihad of the Day. So, if you want to be cool when you make Jihad you will learn the 10 video hand signals of the hand signal puppet bin Laden and obey them. Then, when you know them by heart and are prepared to act on them, throw this computer away. Do not leave this computer in a car in the airport. Repeat. Throw this computer away after you have learned the 10 video hand signals of Jihad. Do not leave it in your rent-a car. The infidels must not learn these hand signals! Otherwise the infidels will learn these hand signals and the Christianities will use them against the Christianities and there will be no one fun to make jihad with anymore.

Remember that the Christianities and the Saudi infidels, who are the puppets of Al Jazeera and Ted Turner, can not be destroyed without the help of bin Laden who has come to earth to bring us the "good news" of the Zionist's Christ's nuclear bombs of compassion and love. That is why he has been chosen to deliver the hand signals of Jihad under the very noses of Satan's impotent hand puppets: Peter Jennings and Cokie Roberts.



To see the cool bin Laden terrorist video hand signal of the day, tune to CNN, Al Jazeera, or the Sally Jessy Raphael Show. Then, when the Zionist Puppet bin Laden appears, watch closely the area in the box. Compare to the hand signals below, then go out and perform the Jihad act described. It's just that easy!!


1. Blow up all US nuclear reactors, today, 11AM EST
2. Mail Anthrax to Gwyneth Paltrow from Trenton, New Jersey
3. Mail botulism to Wayne Newton in a fig newton from Newton, Mass
4. Mail hemorrhoids to Adam Sandler
5. Hijack space shuttle now
6. Hijack International Space Station now
7. Crash space station into Disneyland; simultaneously, crash space shuttle into Mark Wahlberg
8. Call CSPAN. Blame it all on the Zionists.
9. Time to change the oil filter in your SUV
10. Call Albertson's. Ask "Is your refrigerator running?" When they say yes, say "Well, you better go catch it." Laugh ass off. Hang up.



Now that you have learned the hand signals of Jihad, you are just one step away from becoming your own bin Laden. All you need now is bin Laden's secret instruction book. The one he looks at when he wants to know what to do next. This book, which was written by the Zionists to brainwash the little rich kids playing war, bin Laden and Bush, in their Jihads against life and against the Saudi Infidels and against the director of the film "I Sailed to Tahiti With an All Girl Crew," is now available from the Zionist puppet Amazon

Once you own this book, you will always be one step ahead of bin Laden, who is everywhere. When he fucks up, only you will know it. And you can go on Larry King and say hey, little rich kid, Zionist puppet bin Laden, you dumbfuck, you fucked up again! Then you can send in your crack Libyan hit squad on acid to find and kill him in less than a day.


Wait -- the latest new hand signals have just arrived from the little rich kid zionist puppet playing war, bin laden, via our high speed global terrorist encrypted network that the dumbfuck CIAs don't know exists. Let alone the dumbass FBIs.


11. Mail Herpes to Madonna. Mail box of chocolates to Hershey, Pennsylvania


12. Detonate nuclear bomb in Grand Canyon


13.     Send hands to Dan Rather.



Now go forward and save the world from the infidel shitbags.
or click here to go backward and save yourself from disingenuous salvation.