Monday, November 30, 1998
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Estimate of Cost of Y2K Cost Estimate Exceeds $500 Billion

According to estimates by the Gartner Group, the cost of estimating the cost of estimating the cost of actually fixing the so-called "Y2K" bug will run anywhere from $500 billion to $750 billion nationwide this year.

Gartner said an additional $340 billion would be spent in the same time period estimating the cost of estimating the cost of estimating the cost of fixing the Y2K bug, of which his current estimate is, itself, a component, and "so [not wishing to further run up the actual cost of estimating the cost of estimating the cost of fixing the Y2K bug] I gotta run."

"With estimates of the cost of estimating the cost of estimating the cost of fixing the Y2K bug running that high," Gartner estimated, as he was running off, "there may not be enough actual money left to actually, you know, fix the Y2K bug. But it's still too early to estimate that probability with any certainty."

Gartner estimated that estimates of the cost of fixing the Y2K bug would be ready in 2002, at which point it would be possible to more accurately estimate the final cost of estimating the final cost of fixing the Y2K bug.

"At which point," Gartner added, after he was actually already gone, "it'll either be a piece of cake or won't take a rocket scientist to figure out just what the final cost of estimating the final cost of estimating the final cost of fixing the Y2K bug actually is, and we can all be paid the $500 to $750 billion I currently estimate we are owed for our estimates."

The Gartner Group is, apparently, a group.

The Y2K bug is apparently an insect which infects tomato plants and causes the resultant tomatoes to suddenly take on the apparently undesirable and unmarketable characteristic known as, you know, taste.



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