Donald J. Schmuck may be the slimy, creepy, can-do schmuck America needs as President in the new millennium.

Schmuck has put forward a bold plan to endlessly tell you how rich he is and how cool he is and about all the great babes he gets, while cutting taxes for all you poor pathetic losers out there who wish you could be half as coooool as Donald J. Schmuck's baby toe. Schmuck's plan will spark the greatest boom in everybody just being outright schmucks in American history.

Schmuck has talked endlessly about all the fucking money he has and how he's given and ostensibly received thousands of jobs of both the hand and the blow variety. When a few people stopped believing his massive bullshit thereby plunging Schmuck $9.2 billion in debt, Schmuck cried, screamed and threatened every bank in New York and made the tough decisions necessary to save his own sorry ass. His current net worth is estimated by himself as about a billion times more than any of you pathetic losers out there can even count to. So shut up.

Known for his skill at thinking talking and dreaming about himself endlessly and his ability to save his own ass no matter who else gets screwed, Schmuck could end the gridlock in Washington and get real progress on talking about how cool he is, talking about how rich he is, and talking about all the great babes he gets and ending, overnight, America's claim to even a grain of non-utter fucking stupidity.

Tired of politics and politicians? Bored by the same old pablum served up by the other 2000 Presidential candidates? Ready for someone who's cooler than you'll ever hope to be, richer than you can even dream of being and who gets more great babes than you'll ever know of?