Donald J. Schmuck may be the slimy, creepy, can-do schmuck America needs as
President in the new millennium.
Schmuck has put forward a bold plan to endlessly tell you how rich he is and
how cool he is and about all the great babes he gets, while cutting taxes for
all you poor pathetic losers out there who wish you could be half as coooool as
Donald J. Schmuck's baby toe. Schmuck's plan will spark the greatest boom in
everybody just being outright schmucks in American history.
Schmuck has talked endlessly about all the fucking money he has and how he's
given and ostensibly received thousands of jobs of both the hand and the blow
variety. When a few people stopped believing his massive bullshit thereby
plunging Schmuck $9.2 billion in debt, Schmuck cried, screamed and threatened
every bank in New York and made the tough decisions necessary to save his own
sorry ass. His current net worth is estimated by himself as about a billion
times more than any of you pathetic losers out there can even count to. So
Known for his skill at thinking talking and dreaming about himself endlessly
and his ability to save his own ass no matter who else gets screwed, Schmuck
could end the gridlock in Washington and get real progress on talking about how
cool he is, talking about how rich he is, and talking about all the great babes
he gets and ending, overnight, America's claim to even a grain of non-utter
Tired of politics and politicians? Bored by the same old pablum served up by
the other 2000 Presidential candidates? Ready for someone who's cooler than
you'll ever hope to be, richer than you can even dream of being and who gets
more great babes than you'll ever know of?