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THINGIES OF THE YEAR, CENTURY, MILLENNIUM, ALL TIME, ETC.
Blah blah blah blah blah blah, you know, whatever, blah blah blah, slow news week, blah blah blah whatever, you know, whatever, whatever, blah blah blah....


MAN OF THE YEAR
Anybody BUT Jeff Bezos

GOOFY FRONT FOR BABY-KILLING CAPITALIST OLIGOPOLY OF THE YEAR
Jeff Bezos

GOOFY FRONT FOR BABY-KILLING OLIGOPOLIST CAPITALISM OF THE CENTURY
Goofy

SLIMY MOTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKING PIECE OF SHIT OF THE YEAR
Donald Trump

PRODUCT OF THE YEAR
Product itself

MILLENNIUM OF THE YEAR
The next one

DAY OF THE YEAR
Tomorrow

CENTURY OF THE YEAR
This one

ECONOMY OF THE YEAR
THE Economy

BIGGEST UTTER FUCKING BULLSHIT OF THE YEAR
The Economy

TOMORROW OF THE CENTURY
Yesterday

SONG OF THE MILLENNIUM
The Aztec Camera cover of "Jump"

STEREOLAB MEMBER OF THE YEAR
Laetitia

FOOD OF THE MILLENNIUM
A tie between Twinkies and Doritos

SUICIDE TECHNIQUE OF THE CENTURY
Phenobarbital, vodka, and a plastic bag -- or 2 pieces of burnt toast and a rotten egg. Whichever

HIGHEST BANDWIDTH COMMUNICATIONS MEDIUM OF THE MILLENNIUM
Utter fucking silence

HUMAN RACE OF THE YEAR
THE Human Race


   
Some picture of something that somehow seems to go with the text 
below, though sometimes the connection is so counter-cosmic that only Barry 
Diller gets it
EMOTION OF THE YEAR: Commerce

MOVIE OF THE YEAR
"It's a Wonderful Lie"

NUCLEIC ACID OF THE YEAR
Guanine

NANOSECOND OF THE MINUTE
Nanosecond 415,169

NEURO-TRANSMITTER SCREENWRITER OF THE YEAR
Nora Epinephron

MOST NOBEL PRIZE WINNING UTTERANCE OF THE CENTURY
You know, like, the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, or whatever

INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS STORY OF THE CENTURY
International House of Pancakes adds new pancake




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Copyright (c) 1999 by HC