Wednesday, December 31, 1997
Please boycott (and/or smash!) our loyal anti-sponsors:

1997: Lamest Year in All History, Of Course

Rancho Sante Fe - (Dec 29) - Needless to say, as always, this has been the lamest, most empty, most boring, most worthless, most tragic, most sickening year in the entire history of human civilization, and then some.

Since the single most empty, most boring, most worthless, most tragic, most sickening, most overcovered subject of the year has been the so-called "digital" computer (apparently named after the "digital" rectal exam), and since all our writers were, apparently, just a little too shit-faced to, you know, sorta recollect what supposedly did or didn't happen in '97, as it were, and are, at the moment, still just a little too shit-faced to even wanna bother trying, if you know what I mean, we've decided to let our "still under development" chatterbot, "Muffy 1.1," sort it all out, thereby freeing everyone else to do more weighty pieces about hangover cures and good lawyers to call for spousal abuse charges.

So click on the above picture to see Muffy's top 25 stories of the year. Don't like 'em? Just HIT RELOAD to get another set. Now, just set back and get another bong load. Who knows, eventually, maybe randomness will generate a significantly better year than the one that actually (supposedly), you know, happened.

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