We're semi-icognito, though. Meaning we keep all our video gear hidden and don't announce that we're here on assignment to cover this exciting new breakthrough in mass entertainment.

There's about 10 other lines we can see at entrances spaced maybe 20 feet apart to our right and left. But the place is vast. There could be 20 or 30 more entrances on other sides. Whatever, the lines we CAN see all stretch for miles.

On the other side of the gate, only tall trees are visible, so there's not the least hint of what's inside.

Pretty much everybody's here -- including people from many hundreds and thousands of miles away, from all walks of life, all ages, and all classes.

And though we're here on a highly reliable tip, all 20 or 30,000 of them are here based entirely on a rumor. A rumor that hasn't been confirmed or denied. A rumor about which there is absolute silence from higher authorities and the people who should know.

And since we're the entertainment press (, baby!), we always know this kinda shit FIRST, and yet, when we arrived, several "average joes" were already here, and the rest began arriving in droves soon thereafter.

Whatever -- clearly this is the biggest and most electrified crowd that's ever attended the opening of a new theme park -- and not a single soul here -- including us -- knows a single thing about it -- other than it's name -- and that only began circulating about an hour ago.

But that's the power of Disney, I guess.

Who else could get away with opening a new theme park called Human Natureland, and then cynically employ some of the worst elements of human nature itself, to manipulate humans into showing up en masse against all rationality?

And they did it without uttering a single word of promotion or even acknowledging its existence!!

In fact, officially -- though any minute now people are about to start streaming through the gates -- Disney still does not admit that this park even exists, or that Disney has anything to do with it if in fact it does exist. Which, of course, only heightens the excitement for everyone involved.

And as to what's inside, even the world's leading theme park designers all confess zero outright knowledge and zero ability to predict.

So we'll just have to wait and ...

Wait... The line's starting to move.

We're next.

OK, we're moving past the ticket taker, now through another gate and we're in and ....

Uhhh, we still don't really see anything -- just trees and shrubbery. Apparently we'll have to go deeper into the park, but the people ahead of us look equally disoriented. Well, maybe this is just part of the experience -- making everybody a little uneasy.

[Disorientation and fear in the face of violation of expectation, after all, is a big human nature kinda thing.... Isn't it?]

OK so we're following the crowd... there appears to be motion in this direction so we're going along, it's hard to see if there's anything in the distance, there's a lot of trees ... wait it looks like, uhh, yes, there's a building -- behind this next clump of trees -- it's low so that's why it couldn't be seen till we were right on it, and it looks like it's really huge.

So maybe everything is in here. People are already inside. And somebody inside just started screaming something out -- it's a hollow scream with a heavy echo -- he's saying :"IT'S EMPTY!!"

But people are only rushing in faster as a result -- the crowd's carrying us now into the building too -- there's the usual pushing and shoving -- inside, at the center, you can see people visibly arguing -- but they keep getting pushed into each other by the addition of more people streaming in, like bath toys in a toilet that keeps being flushed.

"Anybody says Human Nature sucks ass, I'll crack his head open!" someone shouts.

Somebody breaks out laughing. Don't you get it, he screams. It's a big joke. THIS is human nature! -- US being left to our own devices. No props, no games, no booths, nobody selling us anything, no entertainment, just OURSELVES! After all, WE are human nature!!

And the only way to beat it, someone else says, is if we don't all act like a buncha spoiled pissed off assholes. So instead, let's show everybody that we are mature adults, from an advanced technologic civilization, who understand our own nature and the nature of the world around us and are capable of stepping back from the heat of the moment and acting rationally in our own self-interest, and in a way that dignifies not only our people, but civilization in general and our species in particular, and all species that have learned to rise above simple reflex.

Ehhh, that's too gay for me, someone screams out, and pops the first guy, and now everybody's just trying to beat the shit out of each other -- over, apparently, either the nature of human nature, or Disney's failure, one more time, to keep us entertained enough.

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