Infinity, after all, is the ultimate refuge of all hand-waving math and science, and without it we'd have to confront the certitude that everything we know is wrong. And everything would have to confront the certitude that, when it comes to knowing us, it is even farther up its own ass than we are.

Our offices are located in the Dream Factory, though all the workers here call it the Cliché factory -- which is no big deal, since dreams are all clichés anyway, and probably vice versa.

The people who work here are unique. They don't seem to be the least bit creeped out by themselves, or about the social construction of reality, or reality's construction of society.

Possibly as a result of this freewheeling attitude, they are able to cause neuro-chemical events in others through simple alterations of frequencies and amplitudes over time in the pre-human modalities.

Our personnel department takes great pride in finding these people, and credits this to its review process which unconditionally rejects all candidates who look even the least bit interested when asked, "How about something, SOMETHING, anything, anything at all, that ISN'T fight, flight, or fucking -- for a fucking change?"

Our CEO, though not the inventor of the wet tee-shirt contest, is considered one of its leading innovators -- having gotten rid of, first, the tee-shirt, then the wet, and, finally, the contest.

Of course, front organizations have been set up to try to thwart our progress by generating catalogues of control which, they claim, once complete, will allow them to twist our pathetic little souls around images, utterances, and raw sequence itself, like mucus round popsicle sticks.

But they're still nowhere in these attempts, and have only recently learned enough to destroy entirely their own prior belief system.

And all they've replaced it with, so far, is the modern realization that people invoking hearts and souls are lying out their fucking ass, while people blaming bodily functions are laying out the gospel truth.

In other words, after spending tens of years and trillions of dollars to stop us, destroy us, wipe us off the face of the earth, all they've gotten for their time and money is the knowledge that everybody else already knows: that "Gotta pee!" is the new "Sincerely,".

permanent link to this article