A spokesman for The Right to Not Lie (to Yourself) Movement told reporters: We are NOT here today to gloat and say 'we told you so!'

Then the rest of the press conference was canceled due to inclement weather or something.

Don Perignon de la Mancha, the president of the Right to a Rationale for Life Movement, didn't get where he was by being the kinda guy who wouldn't immediately get on the phone when the chips were down, so he immediately got on the phone.

"The chips are down," he told the directors of the movement. "Man is the only species that cons itself into going on, or needs to -- and our last best con has just been evaporated by the fascism of fact."

"Why'd you fucking wake me at 6 AM," Director #1 said when de la Mancha's call came through. "What was the con we used before this one? Just go the fuck back to that one and don't bother me. Our people are heroes and patriots -- you know, they all heroically and patriotically take their ADD meds everyday -- so they're totally fixated on the moment and won't even notice when they suddenly start reliving the stupidity of their ancient ignorant past all over again. For the good of man."

"They'll call it deja vu," de la Mancha laughed.

"Are we done!" said director #1.

"No," de la Mancha answered politely. "According to rule 30 I have to inform you that it's now your official duty to call director #2 and director #3 and tell director #2 to call director #4 and director #5 and tell director #3 to call directors #6 and #7, and tell them (the directors YOU call) to tell them (the directors THEY call) what you just told them (the directors YOU called) except the numbers of the 2 directors they tell each to call should be 2 times their own (the director you called's) number, and 2 times their (the director you called's) own number plus 1."

By the time word reached Director #1024, he was already too far down the path of inventing a whole new kind of terrorism to turn back and join the search for a whole new kind of con, just to save man.

Anyway, he thought, his new kind of terror might save man a lot faster than a new kind of con would save man.

The old kind of terror, he told reporters, was generally aimed at simple symbolic targets: usually buildings or people.

"It is time for a more inventive, a more complex and a more nuanced terrorism," he went on. "One whose demands and ethos can't be symbolized by simple objects but can only be embodied in complex propositions.

"Thus," he explained, "a concrete act of terror is constructed from the ground up -- in terms of subjects and predicates, not ideologies and objectives.

"The subject, the perpetrators, could, for example, be children. The predicate, the act, is, say, non-suicidal, doesn't kill or harm directly, but still is able to shut down major cities for days, causing profound economic dislocation.

"So in this act of terror, designed from the bottom up in terms of subjects and predicates, no crime is committed, yet tens of millions of people are adversely affected, and the perpetrator is a child no one can find. And the 6.4 billion people not directly affected soon learn about the whole affair -- and, without a moment of thought, know they're next."

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