Carter said his bot could do it too, but faster and cleaner. And with much more élan.

"Once my tiny bug-sized micro-bot has snuck onto a plane, it won't just hide there in a corner, powered down till landing," he said.

"It'll sneak around the cabin emitting strange noises at random moments, so passengers start to look around and feel uneasy. Then, it'll fly or crawl back to the food service area and chemically alter the drinks, snacks and meals in ways that make the passengers feel all relaxed and happy when they eat or drink them -- especially coming off their recent anxiety over weird cabin sounds.

"In the cockpit, my bot will likewise jerk the pilot's and copilot's emotions and beliefs around without restraint, so, in the end, they start fighting over who really DESERVES to be in charge of this trip and while they're struggling and smashing into flight controls, the plane's weaving all over the sky, going into dives and last minute pullouts and spins and rolls so all the passengers, if they haven't yet had their chemically modified coffee and food, are puking their guts out like in the Vomit Comet, but if, out of the kindness of my bot's soul, they've JUST had their chemically-altered uplifting meal, they'll all be sitting there peaceful and calm, happily grooving on zero-gravity when it's around, but not missing it and not going to exorbitantly stupid lengths to try to get it back, when it's gone."

"You're right," said Tyler. "Your bot will definitely be way cooler than my bot in sneaking around the world for free, so I guess, since we already know who wins, it'd be a total waste of time for us to even bother going through the motions of actually designing and building and programming and testing and debugging bots the size of tiny bugs that draw power from available light and are controlled by cell phone from anywhere else in the world, etc. etc. -- So let's just go back to re-disproving Fermat's lost theorem, and maybe let's organize a conference where people get together to find common ground towards looking for a way to talk about hopefully one day having a con-ver-sa-tion about... uh, you know, whatever."

permanent link to this article