A personal note from:
Dear Member,
The content you have requested is unavailable at the present time because the Mike Rosoff Network editorial board has deemed it not yet filthy and vicious enough to meet the sophisticated needs of our members.
As a member of the Mike Rosoff Network, you have a right to expect only the most obscene wholesome all-family pornography (so your friends and relatives and children and grand-parents will never be embarrassed by your taste in filth).
In order, therefore, to more fully understand YOUR needs, a Mike Rosoff Network consultant will be knocking on your door in just a few moments.
She will ask you a few simple questions about your sex life, and then snoop cursorily through your personal belongings.
Though she will live with you for the next few days, and watch your every move, she has been trained to fade into the background, so you will hardly ever notice she's there. (Please do not attempt to interfere with the performance of her assigned duties.)
Thank you, in advance, for allowing the Mike Rosoff Network access to your most intimate secrets. We realize this is still a sacrifice, even though Warner-Turner-Malone has already taken your Self and your Soul and, without them, "intimate" suddenly doesn't mean much anymore.
Please remember, though, that just like Warner-Turner, everything we do is, solely, solely, solely for the one and only single purpose of satisfying every single one of our 9 million members.
Yours,
Mike