Dear Member,

You know, it seems like whenever I start to get out of line, mutant grey cats come and jump around on my roof at 3AM.

These huunchbacked animals are maybe part bear -- and the pattern of sounds made by their feet on the roof is a subconscious morse code that speaks directly to my higher brain functions, re-programming me to become ....what?

Eventually, I turn on the outside light and they scamper down the tree that overhangs the roof, and tear-ass through the alley between the main house and the wall of vines that separate it from the house next door.

And for some reason, obscurely related to all this, the file you've requested is not available on this server at this time.

We hope this causes you no inconvenience, but if it does, we'd like to remind you that what you're getting instead, is far better than the piece of shit you would've gotten, had the file you sought been available on this server at this time.

Thank you, once again, for requesting crap and and then taking several years to realize you didn't get it.

Yours,

Mike

Stallone
Malone
Ru Paul
Ike Turner
Sandra Bullock