Another exclusive feature of the Mike Rosoff Network, is the ability to send e-mail to Mike Rosoff at any time of day or night, absolutely free.

And, to make this task even easier for you, we've provided the complete range of human sentiment in just a few succint, compressed messages. So all you need to do is simply select the one that best approximates your own deepest feelings, and our powerful network software will do the rest.

Choose any one of the heartfelt messages below:

Message 1:

Mike,

Thank you for (accidentally) exposing human hopes and dreams for the tragic ruse they really are.

Message 2:

Mike,

YOR NETWERK SUCKS! (Even thogh its chanjed my life fore ever.) PLEESE BLOE YORSELF!

Message 3:

Mike,

Your new network answers all of the few remaining questions I had about Time. Thanks again. Will probably see you this summer, hitching 'round the Cape.

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Please note that, at the present time, the e-mail feature is only partially implemented and will not send message 1 or message 2. Rest assured, however, that our experts are working round the clock on this problem, and expect to be able to bring you the full e-mail service described above, in the very near future. Thank you for your patience.