At a meeting of top media, business, and telecommunications pundits or mavens or fucking assholes or whoever, the many many many exciting exciting exciting new new possibilities of the media mega mega-merger were discussed and outlined. Here is a partial list of some of these many many many exciting exciting exciting new new changes and innovations and synergies and synchronicities which will result from the exciting exciting mega mega-merger of and synergies and synchronicities between those 2 companies, what's their name and what's their name Inc.

1. Judy Woodruff and Bernard Shaw will now be able to list their email address as the totally kewl JWoodruff169@aol.com and BShaw666@aol.com respectively, rather than the totally lame bogus and boring BShaw@cnn.com and JWoodruff@cnn.com, dys-respectively.

2. Ted Turner's voice will now be used on AOL to say when you check your mail: "Whoaaa. You've got mail, you lucky son of a gun. Probly some kinda hot babe wantin' to suck your dick or sumthin."

3-20. Uhhh, you know, like, many many many more exciting exciting new new innovations and breakthroughs far too numerous to mention and far too complex and far-reaching and new and innovative and exciting for the average American to even begin to comprehend, let alone wanna even fucking bother watching, reading, listening to, or even pissing on.