The Nobel Peace Prize was awarded, today, to the guy who beat the shit out of the guy who always used to say, 'Yeah, but PIECE OF WHAT?!!!'" whenever anybody else said, "Nobel Peace Prize."

"That dickhead," said this year's Nobel Peace Prize recipient, Garth Register Jr, in his Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech, "had some fuckin' nerve sayin' 'Yeah, but PIECE OF WHAT???!!' whenever anybody else said 'Nobel Piece Prize.'"

The Nobel Peace Prize is awarded each year to whoever punches out the most people for saying something bad about the Nobel Peace Prize, like, for example, how it's awarded each year to whoever punches out the most people for saying something bad about the Nobel Peace Prize like, for example, how it's awarded each year to whoever punches out the most people for saying something bad about the Nobel Peace Prize -- and so on, recursively.

According to reporters who attended the Peace Prize acceptance ceremony, a nervous silence fell over the room following Register's acceptance speech, as everyone suddenly started nervously scratching a place that didn't itch, or picking at a scab that didn't exist, or suddenly became totally engrossed in a breaking news story broadcast by a pirate station on a tiny TV set hidden deep under their fingernail, best viewed by staring at the fingertip, head-on, barely breathing or making a sound, for hours on end.

"We interrupt this breaking news story," said the anchor of the pirate news show on the TV in everybody's fingernail, "to bring you a story that hasn't changed one fucking iota since the beginning of time!"

But before he could say what it was, he was interrupted by a news story that hadn't changed one fucking iota since before the beginning of time.

Eventually, and before the new news story could be revealed for what it was, it was interrupted by an even more important news story about something that hadn't changed one fucking iota since before the beginning of even "before" itself. And so on, recursively, for awhile, until suddenly, years later, they somehow managed to return to their regularly scheduled programming.

Unfortunately, however, their regularly scheduled programming was still last year's World Series which had never ended.

Apparently, according to Walter Cronkite, they had gotten to the 7th and deciding game of the World Series, and the score was tied 3-3 at the end of regulation play, so they had to go into extra innings. But when the tie still couldn't be broken, no matter what, rather than just stop play after 30 innings and let the victory fall to some unknown law beyond the laws of Nature, that night, they just stubbornly kept going and the players and fans and umps and coaches just started working round-the-clock, in shifts.

Soon, however, according to CNN, they had to start hiring many more new players and coaches and fans and broadcasters and general managers, and the World Series became an employment black hole, gradually sucking in all personnel, everywhere.

Eventually there stopped being anyone left to work in the factories where they put the little frozen dinners into their little boxes and there stopped being truckers to deliver them to the nearby store, because they all had to go work to keep the World Series going, and that's why I have to stop here now and go out and catch some field mice or lizards for breakfast...

Of course the rhetorical question, "Piece of what?!!" remains unanswered and will, no doubt, have to wait for resolution until the next event at a level higher than the level of the individual cosmos, or at least until the re-boot or re-start of "until" itself, or maybe even 'till the re-boot or re-start of "itself" itself.