Washington, DC - (Dec 21) - For pioneering the kind of brain surgery that can be done at home on a backyard barbecue by any child with just a knitting needle and some paper clips, for continually fighting off the urge to say things like "even though it's so easy to die, it must also be so hard," for founding the nation's leading newspaper, The Wal-Mart Street Journal, for rewriting the book on rewriting the book on writing the fucking book in the first place, and for utterly and uniquely dominating all aspects and levels and parameters and vocabularies of political and social and intellectual and emotional and cultural and spiritual and economic life in America, a political, social, intellectual, emotional, cultural, spiritual, economic life whose socio-path offspring will be encountered at the top-levels of all business and social hierarchies for years to come, Bozo the Clown is the Washington Pissed's MAN OF THE YEAR!!! for 1998, or whatever.