NETFLIX: Q 4 F R
"Your Netflix Queue will outlast the vicissitudes of History," is the promise made by Netflix which is now building an underground city outside time, to keep it.
Despite Fall of Civilization
Netflix Will Retain Your Queue
Your Descendants Can Pick Up Right Where You Left Off
The Netflix online DVD rental and video streaming company attempted to comfort its subscribers today with the announcement that despite the coming fall of human civilization, Netflix WILL retain your DVD queue, intact, NO MATTER WHAT, until such time as human civilization is restored, and there is, you know, some kinda' Renaissance-y thing, or whatever.
"We have constructed a small city underground," a Netflix spokesperson said, "all running on underground geothermal power, with underground hydroponic vegetable gardens, underground springs, hospitals, massive mainframes and enough back up and spare parts to last hundreds of thousands of years if necessary.
"This underground city," he continued, "will be inhabited entirely by workers and managers dedicated to retaining not only your entire DVD queue but also your instant viewing queue, your rental and viewing histories, and your DVD ratings EXACTLY as you left them when civilization ceased on 12.21.12."
Netlix expressed its hope that the coming fall of civilization would end within a few short decades, but promised that they are in it for the long haul, "so that even if you and your children and their children and their children's visibly mutated children never see even the first glimpse of civilization reborn, and even if it's not until your children's children's children's children's children's violently mutated children's children, that something resembling a digital infrastructure is restored along with the concept of story and the medium of music, even then, your Netflix queue will still be there waiting, so the new humans that inhabit the new world, will immediately be able to kick back and watch what their great- great- great- great- great- great- great- grandparents thought was cool, before the fall. And for only 9.95 Zorgons per month."
THE
3.5.09
Queue
PAST TDPS
3.3.09
Invasion
Bankruptcy
Religion
Dildoes
Sono
Coflow
Dirt