THE DAILY 'POCALYPSE #2a Story #1

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CATCH THE COOL FINAL DAYS OF MAN

SALVATION CORPORATION

Acknowledging that only it can save the world, Corporate America has stepped up to the plate big time. And, according to its ad, it's here to stay.

World Totally Saved From Ending
By New Corporate Ad Campaign Being Convinced You Don't Suck Can Save Your Life Corporate America, unwilling to sit on the sidelines and watch as the human race exterminates itself with the greed, lies, self-absorption and stupidity it learned from corporate America, today unveiled the first in a series of ads designed to convince the human race that it's NOT a worthless piece of shit and that it's NOT currently in the process of exterminating itself, and that even if it is, this would still NOT be justified by what it's done to the planet, AT ALL.

The campaign, whose tagline is: "Humans: the species that will NEVER EVER EVER Fucking Exterminate Itself out of greed lies and stupidity, and has definitely totally NOT fucked up its planet" will run non-stop on all websites (superceding their original content) and on all TV and cable shows, and will be emblazoned on all NASCAR cars and jackets, and will be tattooed on the arms of school children. A representative for the corporate ad council emphasized corporate America's commitment to saving the human race from its sick pathetic, non-corporate self.

"The human race is NOT repeat NOT a worthless piece of shit like everybody says it is," he said.

"The human race has lots of potential and it just needs a month in Celebrity Rehab and then another month in Sober Living and then another month in jail with Steve Adler, and it'll be fine -- as long as Dr Drew is president."

The spokesman then went on to assure the human race that when it gets out of jail, "corporate America will be there waiting for you. We are in it for the long haul -- because the world is changing rapidly and you will need us to keep coming up with whole new ways to be disingenuous and creepy."

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TODAY'S TDP

3.19.09
AD CAMPAIGN

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