Round
Acid     The
Clock
Monday, August 30, 2004
Balance of Stupidity
source: Demographics Anonymous
posted: August 30, 2004, 9:01 AM
by: pwd
The campaign was heating up. The main issue was TRUST, and the electorate of Nation X had only one question for its candidates:

Can I really TRUST you to be as big a motherfucking scumbag as you claim to be?

See, their last president had been kind of a motherfucking sorta scumbag, and in the intervening years all the other nations of the world had looked at Nation X's kind of motherfucking sorta scumbag president and at their success in the world and said hey, maybe OUR president should be a motherfucking scumbag too, but an even bigger one than those buncha losers over in Nation X have.

So all the other nations went out and elected their own not just kind of, but REAL motherfucking scumbag president, so now Nation X, the nation that started it all, was being way out-scumbagged by the rest of the world by almost 2 to 1.

In their upcoming election, then, the people of Nation X wanted to send a message to the rest of the world that said, hey, we fucking INVENTED having a motherfucking scumbag for president, and no other 2-bit nation is gonna outdo us in having the most motherfucking biggest scumbag president in the world.

And to go the rest of the world one better, the electorate, in secret, agreed to elect a Vice-president who was also a REAL douchebag. And though this was by no means original or unprecedented, it would shake up the world cause no one had ever bothered to even CARE about how big a douchebag the Vice President was, before.

Meanwhile, the 3rd party was working on tracts about giving the world to the poor peasant, which began with honest admissions about how they themselves really knew absolutely fucking nothing about the poor peasant and about how the poor peasant, in turn, knew absolutely fucking nothing about the world. And how, therefore, contrary to whatever, this was such a neat circularity that it HAD to work.

See, in a demographic society, they argued, the cartoon government must spend all its time keeping its poor pathetic cannon-fodder people at bay by performing great feats of entertainment and self-destruction.

The poor pathetic cannon-fodder people, in return, dolefully accept the proposition that once they've finished struggling just to BE, they're gonna have to immediately turn around and start struggling to BE at least SOMETHING ELSE even worse.

But, sooner or later, the Revolutionary Party candidate argued in vain, the poor pathetic cannon-fodder people will just get tired of either fawning over or trying to LIVE UP TO what's really just another big system-wide industry lie -- or both! And then... watch out!!

But, in the meantime, on election day, the electorate of Nation X voted to cancel all elections altogether forever -- out of fear that, if both sides lost, then the hard middle would go hard core ape shit. So they (the electorate), in all their virtuous crowd-wisdom, decided that hey, let's just better not fucking mess with the current balance of utter stupidity.

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