Fight Stupid Consumerism!! Buy my fucking book!! The Washington 
Wednesday, Feb 16, 2000
Earthquake Hallucinating Rampant, US Internet Survey Discovers
The internet is apparently causing many Americans to hallucinate earthquakes, further resulting in their thinking that everything they drink tastes like milk shakes, according to one of the first large-scale surveys of the societal impact of the internet.

So-called "internet users" also, according to the study to be published in this month's New England Journal of Medicine Cabinetry, get so demoralized, they don't even wanna blow up Wall Street anymore, and everything they touch starts appearing to just be doing 3 or 4 levels of recursion on itself, which is only stopped from being infinite, thanks to MTV etc.

The survey also found that apparently the so-called nation's so-called obsession with the so-called internet is causing many Americans to repeat themselves or have no attention span whatsoever or repeat themselves, or both, and also spend less time calling each other "you asshole you dickhead" to try to cover-up the lie of someone else's notion of there being anything at all beyond amino acids at the core of all 5 billion mobile wireless software players out there crawling slowly across the crude surface of the planet, endlessly running ostensibly infinite recursive routines trying to get to some damn fucking core or other, but always never getting beyond 3 or 4 levels down -- far short of the mirror or window many many more recursion levels down at the far end of the tunnel where a small figure jumps around wildly waving its arms offering something or begging for something, or else is an optical illusion.

Nobody says "Fuck" At Big Debate
According to CNN, nobody has said "fuck," once again, at the latest presidential debate.

"No one even said 'shit,' or referred to his or her 'dick,'" Judy Woodruff of CNN told Fox News in an exclusive interview.

The reason or reasons no one said "fuck" or even "shit" in last night's important debate is/are completely unknown.

"Maybe they were afraid," Woodruff noted, "that if one of them said, like, 'Fuck that Shit!!' it'd just turn into one big song that wouldn't end and that everybody would ultimately sing."

Some picture of something that somehow seems to go with the text 
below, though sometimes the connection is so counter-cosmic that only Barry 
Diller gets it
A recent study concluded that virtually everybody's a fucking asshole except you and me. And sometimes, the study found, it's not so sure about YOU.

CNN Admits Hacking Own Website To Get On MSNBC

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