But sometimes their hands and mouths are full and so they can't always be stickin' their fingers in their ears and goin' la la la la la, whenever some piece of ontology threatens the peace of their phenomenology.

And so bullshit was invented (or evolved by means of natural selection) to keep truth from disrupting the precious appearance of reality (or to keep the nature of reality from interferring with the precious survival of the species).

There's even a mathematical proof of this -- omitted here because following its level of abstract reasoning requires much precision psychoactive drug-taking, and because it, like the proposition it claims to prove1, is also, itself, utter fucking bullshit.

But just because a supposed proof of a proposition turns out to be utter fucking bullshit, does not in any way invalidate the proposition the proof didn't really prove -- just as actually BEING utter fucking bullshit does not invalidate the proposition itself, either -- because the preceding paragraph, which established it as utter fucking bullshit, may simply also, itself, be utter fucking bullshit.

Fortunately, the link between bullshit and survival can be shown by means of the following no-brainer gedanken experiment:

If the proposition Bullshit Saves is not correct, then it's opposite, Truth Kills, must be true. (By what's-his-name's law.) But if Truth Kills is true, and you espouse it as true -- then you're dead. And therefore Truth Kills is proved to be false by the final court of reason, Darwinian logic.2 And Bullshit must Save.

This proof in turn implies that bullshit must pervade all reality. But, clearly, if we saw it that way, we'd just be going around saying "Ehh, that's just a load of bullshit" all the time. Which obviously we're not, since SOMEONE must have green-lighted Shakespeare, Proust, Joyce, and "Weekend at Bernie's II".

So, for the purposes of survival or the ego or whatever, bullshit has historically been referred to as culture.

And for the purposes of Darwinian existentialism, bullshit has come to be transduced across virtually all modalities (fungibility) as money.

No wait. Bullshit IS the modality underlying all modalities.

Money is just the surfacing or instantiation of this fundamental medium or an aspect of it, carrying the bullshit desire of the buyer, through the bullshit greed of the seller, through the bullshit "value" of the object of desire, through the bullshit emotion of acquisition, to the final abject despair of possession -- where "value proposition" is understood, too late, to have meant just another discount whore, spouting just another load of his come-and-get-it bullshit.3

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Notes:

1. no bullshit = no survival

2. a logic where the Booleans resolve to simply LIVE or DIE rather than TRUE or FALSE

3. Note that the real meaning of the popular wisdom: "money talks, bullshit walks", contrary to what everybody believes, is that while money is busy yapping away promising to do something, bullshit just stands up, walks out the fucking door and gets it done! Or, in the current analysis, bullshit is the will and the backbone that does the work, while money puts on the show and gets all the credit. And yet bullshit likes it this way. Essentially bullshit lurks smiling behind every dollar bill.

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