At the dawn of time, man first lived in vaginas. Then, as man grew more confident and developed machines, he began to live in penises. That is the history of architecture -- to which all other history and DNA are just vapid footnotes.1

2. Did Jesus Crucify Herself Yet?

Once man existed and began living and working in penises, he was now free to become obsessed with the central question of existence: Did Jesus Crucify Herself?

To this end, man developed quantum physics and the Bible skip code method of re-predicting the past again.

Then, experiments conducted by recursive application of the Heisenberg uncertainty principle showed conclusively how Christ had actually committed suicide by hauling her black ass up some cross, cutting down the remnants of the old crucified body still hanging there, piercing her wrists, sliding them onto the nails left by the former crucifixee, and then just kicking back and letting crucifiction go, girl.

3. Dreams

The purpose of dreams is to fill in for the Nobel Prizes you deserve but clearly will never win -- because of politics.

Conversely, the purpose of nightmares is to give back the Nobel Prizes you DID win (because of religion and culture), but clearly DIDN'T deserve.

Of course, by default, the purpose of so-called "waking reality" is to be the theater in which, boringly, you win all the Nobel Prizes you DO deserve -- but (and this is why they call it "reality") you only deserve them because everybody else on earth deserves them so fucking much less than you.

4. The Golden Ruse

Fortunately self-organized systems are by definition selfish because recursive algorithms only survive if their recursion is perfect all the way to infinity, and perfect honesty in the application of selfishness means not wasting a drop of it on anybody else, which means no selfishness ever escapes into the world outside those who prosper from and thrive on it (i.e. the self) and, thus, fortunately again, the golden rule, as delicate as the constancy of the speed of light, has already been embraced by the only law of time.

Footnotes

1. Uhhh, this footnote has no actual content and exists only to justify the existence of the in-text superscript which refers to it. That superscript, in turn, exists only to, you know, make zee leetle joke.

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