See, according to statistics, there's a middle. And in this middle there are, like, these 5.42 billion people, and then outside these 5.42 billion people there are .5 billion people on each side, distributed in ever-decreasing numbers as you move farther from the center, each side running down a steep slope of population distribution till, at the very bottom, there's only a handful (percentage-wise) of people left. These are the people who are both totally fucking insane enough to do absolutely fucking anything, and utterly fucking capable enough and smart enough to actually stand a chance of pulling off something that's absolutely fucking insane.

(In fact, it could be argued that REALLY, the only reason all you damn 6.41999 billion people out there are all here in the first place is just to provide a large enough statistical base to guarantee that there's always gonna be an adequate enough supply of flaming psycho lunatics capable of pulling off whatever insane stupidities it takes to keep civilization boring relentlessly forward and relentlessly backward, regardless of the tendencies of time. And the proof of this is just to look at where we are today and to realize that without these flaming hard-working dedicated psycho lunatics we wouldn't be where we are today.)

(So, hey all you 6 billion plus losers out there, stop feeling like you have no purpose in life because, if the last 5,400,000,000 of you didn't exist, the world would (statistically) only have about 60 high-performance psycho-lunatics to make things happen, barely enough to even kick-start a lo-level world civilization, instead of the well over 600 off-the-wall psycho-lunatics of love and peace and truth and beauty and righteousness and generosity and caring and giving and healing and fun and games that we have now. However, that means the first 600,000,000 of you are really contributing nothing compared to the last 5,400,000,000 of you so the first 600 million of you better watch out.)

So, OK, so any loser can get into outer space with enough money. But it's another story altogether to get into outer space using only objects normally found around the house. You know, like pots and pans, TV sets, can openers, DVD units, remote garage door openers, microwave ovens, etc. etc.

Fortunately, though, Burt Rutan and Martha Stewart had the guys at ImClone grab a set of chromosomes from each and stew them together in the big ImClone Clonerator thereby producing a 50% Burt Rutan 50% Martha Stewart clone (often known by straight people as a child), and this clone (child), named Stewart Rutan-Stewart, turned out to be of course the Mozart of building rocket ships that could get you into outer space made out of objects normally found around the house So of course by the time he was 8 he'd already won the much coveted Salinger Prize of 1 Million dollars for the first person who could build a rocket that would go into outer space made out of objects normally found around the house, which I was offering at the time because I wanted to go into outer space but didn't want to pay more than a million for the dubious privilege. I also didn't wanna go into outer space the same tired old way that everybody else always went into outer space and going in on a rocket that was made totally out of objects found lying around the house definitely wasn't gonna be the same way all those other loser astronauts went into outer space.

But, OK, the reason I am writing this is I am actually writing this FROM outer space, right now, where it turns out, getting back from outer space is much much harder than getting there, especially if you have gotten there in the first place using a launch vehicle and space craft made out of articles normally found around the house, because once you're in outer space and you wanna repair your rockets or space capsule or whatever or build a completely new one, you can't really expect to find articles normally found lying around the house there, because, you know, in outer space, apparently, there's no longer any HOUSE.

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