So, after we'd written all the rules, set up 2 leagues of 16 teams divided into 2 divisions of 5 teams and one division of 6, selected a city for each team, designed uniforms, established long-standing team rivalries, came up with player nicknames, and designated which players would have to act like total assholes, game after game, season after season, for the good of the game, someone said, "You know, this is a totally stupid fucking idea!!!" And we all agreed.

The woman next door, who used to be the girl next door but then all the neighbors grew up, said, "We need to just act. It almost doesn't matter what."

The man without a name (even though none of us had actual names, he was the only one known by this name) said we should just start designing recruitment posters and then, once we had a good one, we'd see what it was for, and then we'd know what (the fuck) we were doing.

That sounded good to everybody, but we did it anyway. In the end, however, we did a poster aimed at recruiting from a generation noted for been brainwashed into believing they're a generation that can't be brainwashed, but the best we could do was a sort of generic sounding "Come Be Cannon Fodder for Somebody Else's Ego Bullshit," recruitment poster, and aside from sucking, it still wouldn't give us any kind of focus except for the idea of "somebody else's ego bullshit" -- which, you know, only described EVERY FUCKING THING ON EARTH... except maybe for turds -- and even then...

So, instead, we decided to hire all the Pysch professors in the world to psych all the doped-up athletes into blowing themselves away -- because these athletes are so dedicated and hard-working and so tuned to success and they practice so much that it's highly unlikely when they go to blow themselves away, that they'll miss.

But a few did. And then, it wasn't long before the rock scissors paper game between the doped-up athletes who'd survived and the Psych professors who'd tried to psych them into blowing themselves away turned bloody and fluid (cerebro-spinal fluid, that is).

So the few unsuicided doped-up athletes, in retaliation, round up all the Psych professors who'd psyched them into almost killing themselves and beat them to a bloody pulp in the Psych Department lounge.

But after the doped up athletes leave all way upbeat and high-fiving the shit out of each other, the pulp coalesces around a phone cord and gets itself on the internet and there's just enough brain cells in it (3) to put up a web page, and the web page starts spreading rumors about the doped-up athletes' rape and murder sprees and so they're all arrested, brought to court, and sentenced to death. But their last wish before being executed is that for their last meal they want to have the bloody pulp that's coalesced around the phone cords in the Psych Department lounge.

So it looks like, in a few days, at the execution, the Psych professors and the doped-up athletes will have succeeded in wiping each other out, but that means that now, when some raving lunatic goes on a killing sprees or starts spraying RPG fire all over the place, there won't be a psych professor to come psych him out of it and he'll just go on shooting and killing everybody and there also won't be any athletes doped-up enough to just go tackle the guy.

The animals will sense weakness from this and begin to attack and before long start to gain their turf back from the retreating humans now devoid of the ability to psych anybody out or do incredibly stupid things that require advanced athleticism.

And when simultaneously people all over the world start realizing this and that their hold on the planet is finally being threatened, suddenly the governor is deluged with phone calls and faxes and letters and petitions and visits from big donors and told that he HAS TO stay the execution of the doped up athletes and not let them have their last meal of bloody pulp collected from around the phone cord in the Psych Department lounge. But as he's about to make the phone call to stay the execution he has a heart attack, and the Lieutenant governor doesn't know anything about the execution cause he's been kept out of the loop. OK so the execution is just a few hours away, people are starting to regroup to try to get the lieutenant governor to stay the execution but he's too busy mourning the death of the governor and rearranging the office so he can move in, and restructuring the government so he can optimize the power of the office which he'd been secretly planning for years, knowing the governor was bound to have a heart attack long before the end of his term, and maybe even contributing to it by telling him (the governor) horrific stories of sexual perversion and blood and filth and animals and pagan brutality and how if he (the governor) made the wrong move or said the wrong thing, all these horrors would befall his state and he'd be driven out of town on a rail. So the new governor ignores all the people imploring him to stay the execution and refuses to be bullied and so the execution is about to go ahead, and the final meals have been requested and teams have been sent out to scrape the goo off the designated phone cord and bring it to the soon-to-be executed athletes to eat for their last meal before dying -- but just as the crack team arrives at the Psych building, and gets to the phone cord and one of them has his exacto knife out and is about to begin scraping away to get that damn goo off the damn cord, suddenly in the background there's a rumbling, and the ground starts to shake, and a huge volcano erupts and everyone on earth is buried in molten lava, and mankind is saved...

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