Seattle, Washington, DC - (Dec 23) - Jim Furby, CEO of the Furby Corporation of America, announced today, that all 250 million of his eponymous so-called "Furbys" were being, you know, like totally and absolutely re-called on account of how some of them had, you know, "accidentally" had micro thermonuclear explosive devices installed in them by mistake instead of something else that was supposed to be installed in them, instead.

"We're extremely sorry about this little slip-up at our Furby production facility in Seattle, Washington," said Furby, intensely examining an almost invisible fleck of crystal meth lodged under a fingernail on somebody else as he spoke, "but, apparently, micro thermonuclear explosive devices were, you know, 'accidentally' installed in some Furbys instead of the Windows NT 5.0 software that runs them because, apparently, the box the Windows NT 5.0 software comes in looks almost exactly like the box that the OEM version of Sarah Lee Micro Thermonuclear Explosive Devices comes in, so accidentally confusing one with the other was a natural mistake that anybody could have made, especially when pushed well beyond the limits of human endurance by the demands of rabid so-called 'holiday season' materialisms."

Furby made it clear how that like though they were recalling ALL Furbys shipped, NOT ALL Furby's had micro thermonuclear explosive devices accidentally installed in them.

"Not all Furbys," said Furby, "had micro thermonuclear explosive devices accidentally installed in them. Nooooooooooooo. Some Furby's had sea-launched cruise missiles accidentally installed in them, instead, and will only launch, therefore, if the Furby is accidentally dropped in a bathtub."

Furby also indicated like how even if it were dropped into, like, a bathtub and launched, the cruise missiles did not have nuclear warheads, so like, you know, like why fucking even care?

"Apparently," said Furby, "the problem arose at our Seattle production facility, because the box that the RJR Nabisco Sea-Launched Cruise Missiles comes in, looks almost exactly like the box that the OEM version of Sarah Lee Micro Thermonuclear Explosive Devices comes in, and it was a mistake anybody could have made, especially when operating at the very edge of consciousness where you could seriously fall off and die from suddenly understanding too much."

Furby also noted, however, that many of the workers at the Seattle plant had also not been stoned at all for well over 12 hours and so were fucking up royally just from the utter fucking weirdness of working, you know, "straight."

Furby also noted that how like on the brighter side of the whole affair, it was like interesting to note that though the box that RJR Nabisco Sea-Launched Cruise Missiles comes in looks almost EXACTLY like the box that the OEM version of Sarah Lee Micro Thermonuclear Explosive Devices comes in, and the box that the OEM version of Sarah Lee Micro Thermonuclear Explosive Devices comes in looks almost EXACTLY like the box that Windows NT 5.0 comes in, the box that RJR Nabisco Sea-Launched Cruise Missiles comes in looks ABSOLUTELY NOTHING AT ALL like the box that Windows NT 5.0 comes in.

Go figure.

[Oh yeah. Since the micro thermonuclear explosive devices in the Furbys are all set to go off at noon on December 25th, it is highly recommended that people owning one or more of them immediately put them in the mail and return them directly to the Reverend Moon c/o the Unification Church or the Washington Times, as soon as possible. Thanks.]