Better Faster Be$t$eller$





( Note:  Better Faster titles are entirely the result
of algorithmically compressing the less dense, slower titles of the
current  Publishers Weekly Be$t$eller List.)




Hardback: Fiction and Non


    

 
  1. The Celestine Bedtime Stories
    
Patterson James
    
TurnerWarner, $239.00 
    
Last Week: 1, Weeks on List: 111,108

 
  2. The Death of the Original Profecy Game
    
Seinfeld with Fyodor Dostoevsky
    
AT&T/MCI/Microsoft/IBM Press, $2391.50
    
Last Week: --, Weeks on List: 4445

 
  3. Life Under Glass
    
Robertson Spencer Patterson
    
Motorola/SGI/PacTel/Asylum/Electra, $239.00
    
Last Week: 4, Weeks on List: 10

 
  4. Life Under Treatment
    
Jim John LeJames
    
General Foods/Mitsubishi Books, $523.00
    
Last Week: 3 , Weeks on List: 55

 
  5. A Dog's Cat
    
Jimmy Garnerson James
    
Radon House, $4239.00
    
Last Week: --, Weeks on List: 48

 
  6. Whistle Down Death
    
Sonny, with Cher
    
Double-Simon-Day Warner/Eckhardt, $1.00 
    
Last Week:--, Weeks on List: 9

 
  7. The Angel Who Blew the Mutant Under the Bridge
    
Garnerson Garner
    
2.5Day & Schoooster, $1.00 
    
Last Week:--, Weeks on List: 9

 
  8. The Beardstown Ladies are From Mars, The Laws of Market Success are From Venus
    
Preston Sargent
    
Youconcom Publishing, $523.00
    
Last Week: --, Weeks on List: 655,334

 
  9. Breaking Sense
    
John Malone with OJ Simpson
    
Crank House, $240.00
    
Last Week: 8, Weeks on List: 3

 
  10.   Surfacehood
    
Patterson Robertson Nicholson
    
Quadrupleday, $323.00
    
Last Week: --, Weeks on List: 210

 
  11. Breaking the Market
    
Cher with Dostoevsky
    
Warner/Viacom/Sony/GM Books, $241.00
    
Last Week: 9, Weeks on List: 3


 
  12. Breaking the Laws of Good and Evil
    
Friedrich Patterson
    
ABC/CBS/NBC/Fox Books, $242.00
    
Last Week: --, Weeks on List: 2

 
  13. Successhood
    
Terry Mulles with Walt Disney
    
Varner/Wiacom/Beetlesmann, unpriced
    
Last Week: --, Weeks on List: 30

 
  14. Disciplinehood
    
Walt Disney with Pauline Reage
    
Nabisco/Warner/Malone Books, free, online
    
Last Week: --, Weeks on List: 3

 
  15. Anthropologist in the Kitchen with the Market Leaders
    
James Jackson Brown
    
Crystal House, $2239.00  
    
Last Week: 13, Weeks on List: 5

 
  16. The Commonsense of Investment in Mars
    
Rosie Roberts Rogers
    
Psilocybin House, $239.00
    
Last Week: 14, Weeks on List: 15,557

 
  17. Spiritual on the Surface
    
Deepshit Choptliva
    
SGI/Compuserv/Betty Crocker Media, $243.00
    
Last Week: 15, Weeks on List: 3

 
  18. The Diary of the Death of the Laws of Midnight
    
Jameson Robbie Rogerson
    
Wheeeeecom, $244.00
    
Last Week:16, Weeks on List: 3






Paperback: Mass Market and Trade



    
 
  1. Tom Clancy's Stupid Accident
    
Patterson James Robertson
    
Radioactive House, $323.00
    
Last Week: 1 , Weeks on List: 655

 
  2. Embraced by the Bride of the Gold Chamber
    
Robbie Robbie Robinson
    
Octupleday, $239.00  
    
Last Week: --, Weeks on List: 59

 
  3. Mistress After Daybreak; Friends Until Tomorrow
    
JP Sartre with Faye Resnick
    
Peer Press, $239.00
    
Last Week: 4, Weeks on List: 67

 
  4. Mistress by Accident
    
Franz Kafka with Paul Reiser and Sonny Bono
    
Shoooooster and Shooooster, $9239.00
    
Last Week: --, Weeks on List: 10000

 
  5. Murder by Accident
    
Patterson Preston James
    
Times/Time/Spy/Electra Books, $8239.00  
    
Last Week: --, Weeks on List: 7


 
  6. Murder by Mistress
    
Bertolucci & Shapiro
    
Nonupleday, $2398.00 
    
Last Week: --, Weeks on List: 235

 
  7. Congo On the Potomac
    
Trenton Quarrantino
    
Warner/Gurdjieff/Khaddaffi, $239.00
    
Last Week: --, Weeks on List: 24

 
  8. Shipping the Soul
    
OJ Quarrantino with Bart Simpson
    
Asbestos House, $1239.00 
    
Last Week: 2, Weeks on List: 3,279,010

 
  9. Makes Me Wanna Mess Up the Lives of 7 Stupid, Highly-Effective People
    
Robbie Jamie Jameson
    
Smack House, $22239.00
    
Last Week: --, Weeks on List: 656


 
  10. Makes Me Wanna Die
    
John Malone with Faye Resnick
    
Turner/Warner/Diller/Sting/Cher/Fabian, $239.00
    
Last Week: 5, Weeks on List: 57

 
  11. What to Expect from the Soul
    
Sting with Cher
    
Kerplunk, $239.00
    
Last Week: 6, Weeks on List: 10

 
  12. What to Expect from Murder
    
Cher with Dion
    
Flesh Press, $2399.00
    
Last Week: 7, Weeks on List: 46

 
  13. What to Expect from Death
    
Fabian with Vanity and OJ Simpson
    
Resnick/Malone/Electra, $239.00
    
Last Week: 8, Weeks on List: 11

 
  14. What to Expect from Expecting
    
Prince with Tiffany
    
Pfumpf, $239.00 
    
Last Week: 9, Weeks on List: 56

 
  15. The Day After Reviving the Soul
    
Gary Shandling with Franz Kafka
    
Simon and Simon, $9239.00
    
Last Week: -- , Weeks on List: 10000

 
  16. Driven To Care For Effective Murder Habits
    
OJ Salinger
    
Garfunkle and Garfunkle, $2397.00 
    
Last Week: 15, Weeks on List: 2

 
  17. Embraced Until Daybreak by the Gold Angel of the Op-Center
    
DJ Salinger with OJ Pynchon
    
Warner/Lambert/Gopac/Opec, $2396.50 
    
Last Week: 16, Weeks on List: 13










 











 
 
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 Better Faster Be$t$eller$  is Copyright (c) 1995 by Cognitec/3rd
 Force Software, Inc., but may be copied or duplicated provided this
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 Last updated: 4/1/95, 4:02 pm, 
 
 by:  joekay2@well.com